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Some years ago, two
young persons, engaged and in love, attended a downtown theater. As
they sat together, hand in hand near the front, waiting for the movie to
start, someone suddenly screamed, “Fire!
Fire!”
Smoke began to fill the building. There was a stampede towards the
exit. The young man led the pack and was the first one out. Most of
the others eventually made it to safety, but forty persons perished in
the flames.
The
young man searched anxiously for his beloved. Finally he found her,
threw his arms around her, and said, ”I hope you didn’t get hurt. I was
so worried for your safety.”
But
she did not return the embrace. She answered his words of concern with
icy silence. As they walked toward her home, he went to great lengths
to state his love and devotion. She didn’t reply. When they got to the
gate of her home, she took the diamond off her third finger, placed it
in his hand, and walked on, alone.
She
never spoke or gave him a reason. She didn’t have to. What had he
done? Nothing, nothing at all.
Love
dies when people do nothing. The language of love is not words but
action. Even good marriages cannot survive without loving acts of
kindness.
Unfortunately, many husbands and wives take each other for granted.
They are like the man who, when asked why he never told his wife of his
love, said, “I told her I loved her when I married her. She knows that
I haven’t changed my mind.”
Husbands and wives who are unhappy with one another can do something
about it. They can begin to build each other up through positive words
and affirming actions. However, all too often their frustrations
instead lead to critical words and abusive actions, which further
destroys the beauty in one another.
If
love is going to grow, someone must break the cycle of indifference and
criticism. Love doesn’t wait for the other person to act. Love takes
the initiative. Spouses who wait for the other one to start giving kind
affirmative words and actions often end up in the divorce courts.
According to an old saying, “The happiest wife is not the one that
marries the best man, but the one who makes the best of the man she
marries.” The same is true for a happy husband. He makes his wife a
better person.
The
Bible says, “Do not be deceived….a man reaps what he sows.” (Galatians
6:7) A husband who constantly belittles his wife’s appearance and
criticizes her actions is likely to find himself married to a defeated,
wilted person. Likewise, a wife who fails to build up her husband will
likely discover that he is becoming less and less what she hoped he
would be.
The
Bible commands us to “encourage one another and build each other up.”
(I Thessalonians 5:11) Keeping God’s Word starts at home, with one’s
spouse.
People need affirmation most from those they care about the most. Not
just once in a while, but many times a day.
Paul Jetter, Upper Valley Community Church |
