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Some anthropologists believe that humans have a genetic
inclination towards extra-marital affairs. Their theory is that we are
born with a desire to “play the field”. Those who ascribe to this
theory do not necessarily say that marital unfaithfulness is good or
unavoidable. In fact, some of them are quick to note that affairs are
very damaging emotionally and often lead to the destruction of the
family.
While not calling it a genetic trait, the Bible also tells us that
humans have an inclination towards sexual immorality. Jesus lists
adultery and sexual impurity as two of the sins that flow from the
heart. (Matthew 15:19)
Genesis 8:21 says “every inclination of man’s heart is evil from
childhood.” The prophet Jeremiah stated that the people “followed the
stubborn inclination of their evil hearts.” (Jeremiah 7:24)
However, an inclination to do something does not justify doing it. An
alcoholic has an inclination to drink, but he still chooses whether or
not he will be a drunk. Most of us have an inclination for rich
desserts, but that doesn’t make them healthy. Many persons have an
inclination to lose their tempers, but that doesn’t justify their
actions or ease the hurt they cause.
Giving into sexual temptation may seem natural and harmless, but in the
end it leads to broken commitments, destroyed trust, guilt, unwanted
pregnancies and disease.
The
Bible’s recommendation is quite plain: “Flee from sexual immorality.”
(1 Corinthians 6:18). In other words, don’t keep messing around with
the idea you will stop before harm is caused. Get out of the situation
at the first sign that it is more than a normal friendship.
Most
affairs start with emotional bonding. A lonely person discovers that a
co-worker is more understanding than his or her spouse. Verbal
communication gives way to physical communication. The natural hormones
kick in. Reason is blinded by desire. What started out seemingly as an
innocent friendship turns into an affair that will either destroy the
marriage, the friendship, or both.
Couples who want to protect their marriages avoid situations that cause
them to be alone with other persons of the opposite sex. They don’t
meet members of the opposite sex for dinner. They try to avoid work
situations that involve spending a lot of time alone with someone of the
opposite sex, and may even change jobs if it continually puts them in
such settings.
Their precautions are well founded. Social scientists have traced the
rise in marital unfaithfulness directly to the increase in situations in
which men and women spend extensive time together on the job.
Our
marriages and our homes are too precious to be put at risk. Even if we
believe we will not be affected by being alone with those of the
opposite sex, by being careful in our relationships we are saying to our
mates, “You are so special and so precious to me that I will honor you
by giving to you alone my complete devotion.”
The
anthropologists are right! The human race does have an inclination
toward sexual impurity. However, Jesus Christ is ready to empower us so
that we are not controlled by our sinful nature. “The blood of Jesus
Christ purifies us from all sin.” (1 John 1:7)
Paul Jetter, Upper Valley Community Church |
