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The story goes that a man went golfing one morning
and promised his wife that he would be home by noon. When he didn’t get
home till four in the afternoon, his wife was furious. “Forgive me for
being late,” he pleaded. “When we were on the twelfth tee, my friend
Roger was struck unconscious by a wayward ball.”
“Oh, that’s terrible,” said his wife. “No wonder you’re late.”
“Yes,” he replied. “For the rest of the day it was hit the ball, drag
Roger; hit the ball, drag Roger; hit the ball….”
The problem that too many people have is that they are trying to play
the game of life while still dragging their past hurts behind them.
Instead of letting go of problems, resentments, disappointments, and
failures, they drag them around as cherished scars, as rallying points
for others’ pity, as excuses for escaping present responsibilities.
The Bible teaches that what has transpired in our lives is not to be
what controls our lives. St. Paul said, “Forgetting what is behind, I
press on…” Jesus taught that we are to forgive everyone, even if they
don’t ask for forgiveness.
If you refuse to forgive another, you become that person’s slave. He or
she may not even know about your bitter feelings, but they gnaw at you
until you cannot enjoy life. Resentments cause stress hormonal changes
that cause you to tire after only a few hours of work. The person you
have not forgiven is always on your thoughts. He or she hounds you
wherever you go. Even food may lose its appeal.
An unforgiving spirit often leads to anger – anger that the other person
could be so irresponsible, so uncaring. Ultimately, depression and
hopelessness may set in. Why? Because all that bitterness and
resentment has not been able to change the guilty person one little
bit. Life seems completely uncontrollable.
Often, the person you have refused to forgive isn’t even aware of your
pain. Holding grudges doesn’t make the other person miserable.
Instead, it makes you miserable.
But life is far from out of control. While you may not be able to
control the one who wronged you, you can control your own attitude. And
that is what really matters. Changing the other person’s attitude can
never cause us to be happy. Happiness is something we must choose for
ourselves.
The Bible says to forgive others no matter how many times they may
offend us. While we think we are doing them a favor, we are actually
doing ourselves the bigger favor.
Forgiveness, letting go of the pains of the past, is a choice that we
make. We can find excuses for our mistakes and failures, we can blame
others and circumstances for our disappointments, we can dislike
ourselves for things we have done, or we can release these things to
Jesus and choose to forgive as God has forgiven us.
Paul Jetter, Upper Valley Community Church |
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